Good Grief

Every now and then some spirit of orderliness descends upon me and I tear up some corner or cranny of our house to take an inventory and reorganize it. Today the boxes of old notes and new stationary lured me …

Lipstick Legacy

I have it now; this little blue mug that says “MOM” on it all uneven like it was mass printed and sold for last minute gift-buyers on Mother’s Day sometime in the 80s. Maybe my Dad got it for her …

Faulty Faith and Fairy Tales

When an unshakeable faith in God is shaken.

When Your Children Say, “We Got You”

I did a scary thing. I auditioned for a show in which you read the words you wrote. Like, in front of people. On a stage. And before you can do that you read it in front of the showrunners …

The Gospel According to Wonder Woman

Oh my gosh, see Wonder Woman. Like, close this window, buy a ticket, go. to. it. now. Done? Great. (Otherwise: major spoiler alert!) So holy crap, right?! The scene in No Man’s Land? GAH! The marketing team at Wonder Woman …

You Are Not a Worm

Like most mothers, I adore my children. Like most mothers, I have this sense that I sort of “woke up” when they came into the world – as if I were only half living before. Like most mothers I catch myself in awe of their beauty and creativity and strength. And like most mothers, I get overwhelmed, infuriated, worn out, and exhausted doing this thing.
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My children do not obey me “first time, every time,” they don’t follow all my sound advice, they don’t thank me for everything I do. Most days include sensory-overload and I reach a point where I’d love nothing more than for them to leave me alone for a bit. There are times when I would be totally happy to let them sit in front of brain-sucking screens for an hour (or three) while I enjoy not listening to the noise that is my beloveds. Times when I would love to hear a “you’re right, Mom, I should not hit my brother, here’s a coffee, I’m going to go lead a calm game outside with the siblings I cherish.”

On the First Anniversary

People talk about the first year as though crossing that threshold is a thing. I used to hate it because it felt like there was an expectation that a person would be done grieving after a year. But I don’t …

And Own that Love is Heaven

This time last year we knew. Another tumor had presented and Mom’s doctor just told us that the treatment wasn’t working. Mom realized without trying to that she would not be with us much longer and she made peace with it, mostly. …

The Women

Their voices are like echoes – one speaks and you wonder which body it belongs to. Their humor coordinates and though each has a slightly different take on the world, they understand each other and laughter comes easy. I was born …

Valentines

He brings them home after a long Valentine’s Day full of construction paper and sticky fingers. Like all days now – with three kids in our little house – his arrival is greeted with squealing children and his wife somewhere among the …