The sound of metal bits clacking around in the vacuum cleaner made my stomach drop. The earrings I had worn in rotation with a few of her other studs for the last year and a half were missing and now I … Continue reading
I have it now; this little blue mug that says “MOM” on it all uneven like it was mass printed and sold for last minute gift-buyers on Mother’s Day sometime in the 80s. Maybe my Dad got it for her … Continue reading
As my faith has shifted I have become underwhelmed with much of my tradition. I’ve hodge-podged new rituals out of other practices and looked in dusty nooks of this one for meaningful expressions of a spirituality that no longer fits … Continue reading
Like most mothers, I adore my children. Like most mothers, I have this sense that I sort of “woke up” when they came into the world – as if I were only half living before. Like most mothers I catch myself in awe of their beauty and creativity and strength. And like most mothers, I get overwhelmed, infuriated, worn out, and exhausted doing this thing.
My children do not obey me “first time, every time,” they don’t follow all my sound advice, they don’t thank me for everything I do. Most days include sensory-overload and I reach a point where I’d love nothing more than for them to leave me alone for a bit. There are times when I would be totally happy to let them sit in front of brain-sucking screens for an hour (or three) while I enjoy not listening to the noise that is my beloveds. Times when I would love to hear a “you’re right, Mom, I should not hit my brother, here’s a coffee, I’m going to go lead a calm game outside with the siblings I cherish.” Continue reading
People talk about the first year as though crossing that threshold is a thing. I used to hate it because it felt like there was an expectation that a person would be done grieving after a year. But I don’t … Continue reading
May is Brain Cancer Awareness Month. It’s probably also some other awareness month and there is probably a Donut Day or something wonderfully absurd in it’s mix. These things are arbitrary. May is no more or less affected by Brain … Continue reading